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Golf Australia Express : Issue 23
WEWERE on the 3rd, and early holes had been covered with Jack’s recent discovery of the Safari Golf Resort in South Africa. It’s 19th hole is the kind of thing to put him into a complete tail-spin, and already plans were being laid for his trip to play the 570-metre par 3, which tees off from a height of 430 metres. The fact it takes a helicopter to get to the tee, and the ball takes 20 seconds to land is—according to Jack—enough to qualify the hole for ‘extreme’ status. But the conversation didn’t stop there. After a particularly quiet three holes, during which I assumed he was mapping out his itinerary and consolidating funds to deliver the now- essential trip into the firm hands of reality, Jack sprung. And I do not use the word lightly. On the 13th (thank God it was not earlier) at the apex of my swing, he screeched. Or screamed. Neither word really describes the sound that came out of his mouth. A sudden burst of volume that gave my club’s arc a kink such that the ball went barely 20 metres, and did so at a right angle. “You...,” said Jack, “...would really struggle on my Extreme Psych course.” After the fright had subsided and I’d stopped swearing at him he revealed the image of his latest inspiration—a course with speakers set up along fairways, around greens, and in bunkers to be triggered by nearby golfers. Clearly not a place to enjoy a quiet round, this course would have random sounds played at random times and often not at all. And I had to hand it to him—after my first experience the main distraction became the potential for distraction—and I could think of little else. Needless to say, bythetimewegottothe18thIwasawreck and Jack was thinking of investors. As far as he can see, this is a sure thing—a course to bring the mighty to their knees. But I remain unconvinced. Golf, for me, is a game of relaxation. A chance to wander through green scenery after watching graceful path of a straight drive with joy in heart and step. I don’t need helicopters, snow or wild animals to improve my enjoyment of the game. And I certainly don’t need to worry about where or when the next random sound is coming from to abuse my concentration. But then again, we’re playing the Dunes on Friday. OTG THERE’S NOT A LOT QUIET ABOUT JACK. AND NOW HE WANTS TO BRING THAT ROWDINESS TO THE COURSE. OVER MY DEAD BODY, WRITES WILL HONE. EXTREME GOLF with Will Hone IN HONING